44 Frames

What if getting older isn't about all the time that has passed, but more about how much life we've been given?

This week, I turned 44, and it got me thinking about the people I love, those I have lost, the things I’ve learned, and all the ways we celebrate being alive. As human beings, I think we are pretty darn good at celebrating the big milestones- those big calendar items like weddings, new babies, graduations, birthdays, and the new job. And as a photographer, this is typically when I get a call.

But the reality is, most of life happens somewhere in between those milestones. So, how do we celebrate the things that don't necessarily come with a cake and ceremony? How do we honor all the little unexpected joys that make up a life well lived?

-Starting over.

-Making time to hang out with that one friend you haven't seen in years, but you can both pick up like no time ever passed.

-A second chance.

-Saying yes to something new.

-Watching your child turn into an incredible adult. (That definitely didn't happen in our house last week without shedding a few tears!)

-Finding your confidence again.

-Having the courage to walk away.

-A completely ordinary Tuesday that, for some reason, you wish you could go back to over and over again.

Maybe in the end, these are the moments that matter most.

The ones that slip quietly into our days.

The little things that, when you look back, turn out to have been the big things all along.

And that's something worth celebrating every.single.day.

So I want to spend the next year searching out the joy, the resilience, the connection, the ordinary moments that turned out to be extraordinary, and I want to meet the people who remind us that life, in all of its messy and beautiful forms, is worth celebrating. Here. Now. Especially now.

Enter project 44 FRAMES.

A black-and-white gallery exhibition of 44 stories from people of all ages and all lived experiences.

44 reasons to celebrate being alive.

Maybe you have a story.

Maybe someone you love does.

And I’m going looking for them. Proof that a life is made beautiful by the moments we choose to notice. Not perfect or polished, but real.

I have a feeling those moments are going to remind me (and maybe all of us) of something we already know deep down…

There is still so much good to see here.

So what are you celebrating? And are you in?

+A huge shout-out and sincere thank you to the incredible @jonnycreative who took this portrait of me and let me fall apart in his studio because of the beautiful safe space he held for me as a witness to my story. I am eternally grateful you are a part of my journey!

Oh, middle school pictures!

I remember sitting at a cafe with a few of my artistic friends, hashing out a new photography project almost ten years ago now.  That night changed the entire trajectory of Studio Bliss.  No longer was I just someone with a camera. I KNEW what had conspired would change my life, my business, and the people I served.  THIS was what I was meant for. My purpose behind using my camera and my gifts was fully formed in my mind, and it was the first time I really thought about being a photographer with intentional purpose and a whole lotta heart behind it.

I was working in two different schools, teaching art at the time.  One was in a residential neighborhood with fantastic parent involvement, tricycles and little helmets everywhere, moms waving and striking up conversations at pick-up and offering support in my classroom.  The other was in a neighborhood where cops were stationed, I had a bullet hole through the glass of my classroom door, and a washing machine to help wash uniforms while I taught so that the kids had something clean to wear each day.  And it occurred to me that it doesn’t matter where you come from, what environment you live in, or how much support you have- middle school is freaking hard on everyone.  You are trying to figure out how you fit into this world, what your friendships look like, you are worried about how you show up, and you are pushing away from the family you have even though you desperately need them, and no one, NO ONE takes out their middle school picture to proudly display. 

It bothered me.  I know I can take a beautiful image of anyone, at any age.  There was this trend in my business of families showing up for photos every single year until their oldest hit those tween years, and then they just dropped right off the face of the earth…and during a time that, regardless of push back, their child desperately wanted and deserved to be seen as a part of that family.  The more I worked through this idea of celebrating life in the messiest stages, the more I realized that storytelling had to be a part of the whole.  I could take a beautiful contemporary portrait, but what I really wanted to do was to let everything that made them who they are shine right through.  If your grandmother was your rock, bring her.  If science beakers were your happy place, let’s show that.  If listening to music or playing with legos or reading was what felt like belonging, then let’s creatively find a way to add those small pieces of your journey to the images.  It sparked something in me I just couldn’t let go.

So, on a very cold Super Bowl Sunday, the owner of Cafe Moxo gave me his store front downtown to shoot a promotional video in.  I will forever be grateful.  The artist Immanual Ahiable (incredibly wise and talented beyond his years) brought his video gear and a group of very sweet girls, who called themselves the “Little Ladies Who Lunch” showed up for a session that will forever have my heart. They started out together and life had spaced them out in different schools in Springfield, but they remained the best of friends and continued to impact each other in profound ways.  What made them tick was the relationship with each other.  And Storytelling Sessions were born.

The best part- while we were working through the photography process, their family wrote letters about what it meant to have them in their family.  Those letters were recorded and a vocal recording played those beautiful, heart-wrenching affirmations while the kids got to see their images for the first time.  And here’s what I didn’t expect…while I thought whole-heartedly that the kids would be deeply affected, it was actually the parents who openly cried and then it hit me.  Sometimes we get so wrapped up in life, that we forget to say the things we should and frequently enough. 

***You are going to want to grab a box of kleenex and a pint of ice cream and then watch our little promo video to the end for the full impact.*** Promo video link

Each kiddo received a beautifully printed wall portrait of themselves to take home with the handwritten letters attached to the back so that they could proudly take middle school imagery home and display it on the wall as a sign of belonging and beautiful worthiness during a challenging stage in life.  Each time they needed to be reminded of the love and light that surrounds them, they could take that photo off of the wall and read those letters.

It’s been a bit over 9 years since the release of that project, and it still drives what I do in my business.  Connection, storytelling, love, and championing the world as we step confidently along our journey.  This project has evolved because I realized during the pandemic that the whole world needed care like this- didn’t matter what age you were, what your background was- humans deserve to be seen, heard, and tell their stories.  This all came full circle for me when my grandmother passed away last year, and I felt the regret of everything I hadn’t taken the time to say, of all of the stories that were shared after her passing as we tried to move through healing.  And so this project expanded into something I now call LEGENDS.  Legends, because to the people who love you most, your stories are legendary.  This project is quite literally for everyone, and if you are ready to show up for yourself or if you have someone in your life you want to shower with love, give me a call.  There could be no greater gift as an artist than to show up as the mirror for all of the good you are in this world!  I would be truly honored.

Creepin' it Witchy!

This session was born out of a dream. No, really!

I’m one of those lucky people who doesn’t remember a thing during the night. I hit the pillow, and I am gone. When my husband asks my seven year old if he had any good dreams, sometimes he responds with, “Nope, blank screen!” That is my always response, unless I am sick and then I have horrible nightmares. This wasn’t one of those.

My dear friend, Jan, called me to catch up and asked about my Halloween plans for this year. It wasn’t until that exact moment that an image popped into my head as clear as day and out of nowhere. I squealed and told her I had a seconds-long dream about her the night before. It was a beautiful portrait of her in all black with wrinkled paper and black spiderwebs blowing on the black backdrop. It was stationary, like a stunning fine art portrait of her as a witch with only the wind adding a small shift in movement. And in a flash it was gone, but the breathtaking image was seared on my brain.

I begged her on the phone to do something crazy and fun with me in the studio. In seconds, she was in her closet and already throwing things in a laundry basket as she excitedly yelled at me from across town and over the phone. She was gathering boots, textured garments, and an old black birdcage.

We met at the studio with only this one vision in my head, but I threw together that set like a driven, mad woman. I knew exactly what I wanted. God, creation is such a beautiful thing!

She was perfect. After transforming into a witch, she started moving and embodying her new identity without me even asking. The intense half hour went from dead seriously pinpointing a vision to absolute laughter and back again. We were both on auto-pilot and still completely free.

When it was over, we sat on the couches and talked about what had just happened, both of us in tears. Coming into the studio, our hearts had both been burdened from our seperate lives, but in that quick studio session, we had found what we each needed.

Jan told me she hadn’t been feeling so good about herself, and the way I gave her a space to roleplay and become something else for a bit was everything she needed. She just kept saying how much fun it had been to let go of the hard and simply enjoy childlike play and expression for awhile. When she hugged me, she told me I am right where I am meant to be, and if just a half hour could bring so much good out of a soul in my presence, that here is where I am meant to be. She gave me all the reassurance I needed in that one moment to keep creating a life for myself that allows me to be in service to others always. Creating fixes everything! Happy Halloween!

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

The day we got back from marrying off two of my three younger brothers, I was surprised with a beautiful session in my studio.  Initially, Holly from Holly Rose Skincare was coming in to help me build a new portfolio of business headshots for a project I have coming up, but she messaged me on the road and threw an incredible opportunity my way for Breast Cancer Awareness Month that I just couldn’t say no to.  I feel incredibly honored and blessed to have been such a small part of this program initiative happening right here in Springfield, IL.

Meet Megan.  Holly brought her long-time friend into the studio and asked if they could get a few photos together for a one-of- a-kind collaboration coming soon to the Simmons Cancer Institute at SIU Medicine.  Megan was diagnosed with Triple Negative Invasive Ductal Carcinoma in Stage 2 shortly after having her third baby.  She found a lump in her breast and followed her gut instincts.  She was breastfeeding at the time and truly thought it may have just been a clogged duct, but she still made the call.  It just wasn’t going away and thank God she did!

The oncology nurse who called to give her the message you’re never prepared to hear was her sister.  Her mom is a breast cancer survivor, so this family knows how to fight and protect.  I’m still in awe of the strength she had sharing this difficult part of her journey with me!  Earlier this month, Megan was able to finish out her 16 rounds of chemo, lovingly referred to as ‘the red devil’.  She still has radiation and then immunotherapy to battle through, but she is one tough cookie, and I have no doubt in my mind that she will persevere with beautiful resolve.

She has incredible support from her family who has already been through it all, her husband and three children, and the many friends she has made along the way teaching yoga for Ahh Yoga. Megan is the Director of Admission for SHG, and we bonded over all the beautiful ways that private schools in this town support their staff on a daily basis.  Thank God for places you can call home when you need love, compassion, and support the most.  And of course, she couldn’t say enough about the staff at Springfield Clinic Oncology.  Megan’s best piece of advice to anyone preparing for this journey- “Listen to your instincts and advocate for yourself- it could save your life.”

I learned so much from this storytelling photo session, and compassion flowed so deeply for the over 300,000 cases of breast cancer that will be diagnosed in the United States this year alone.  I am grateful for businesses in our community who are stepping up to stand shoulder to shoulder in partnership with the hospitals to create safe spaces for patients to feel cared for.  Enter Holly Rose Skincare and Face the Fight!  

Holly recently underwent oncology skincare certification, because she too has friends affected by breast cancer and knew that she had a gift to give back to her community in a meaningful way with her business.  Holly is partnering with the Simmons Cancer Institute at SIU to create on-site workshops for those affected where she will teach about skincare, brows, lashes, scalp, etc…  In addition, she will be providing scholarship opportunities for those affected. How amazing is that?!?

How can you show support this month? Wear pink on Fridays, and on Wednesday, October 29th, Holly has created an event called ‘Fall For The Cure’ at the Railyard in Springfield, IL to raise awareness and funds for additional programming. (Check out the event on social for more details!) So, mark your calendars and come on out to the Railyard to support Breast Cancer Awareness initiatives here in our hometown.  How lucky am I to know and work with some of the best people this area has to offer!  Cheers to having each other’s back, because no one fights alone!

Be Seen.

What if the most powerful thing you ever did was allowing yourself to be seen?

Let’s talk about it, because this one question is changing my life profoundly.  As a kid who grew up in an abusive household, being seen or heard was about the worst thing you could do to yourself.  I spent my life hiding.  In grade school, I would jam papers in my desk and only toss them out on the way to gym or lunch, when I absolutely had to leave my seat.  I kept sharpened pencils at the ready in hoards just in case one broke.  On and on it went in an astounding myriad of ways on a daily basis through my four decades on this earth until I was straight called out.  

You can imagine that I about died when my mentor told me sternly to STOP HIDING in my business.  “What?  Hide?  Me?  I don’t know what you are talking about!”  I was called out by fellow photographers for not being the face of my business.  When everyone else named their business proudly with some form of their own birth given name, I picked a name that resonated with how I feel about photography and how I wanted my future clients to feel when they experienced my love around the art. 

Had I ever been photographed for my About Me page (cringe)?  Nope.  Was I showing up in Live videos on social media?  Nope.  Was I hiding in corners eating all the finger foods and looking desperate at every networking event? Yes, like real bad. I had to talk myself down to even get out of my car and go in. Did anyone even know my business existed or who the heck ran it?  Nope and listen, if you are in business, that is a huge problem!

It took a lot of therapy, gratitude and self-love to work through the idea that I deserve to be seen.  It took another photographer creating a safe space for me to show up in while he lovingly guided me through the process. I had to push through some old scripts and say good-bye to perpetuating behaviors I no longer wanted as part of my story. Hello martyrdom, self-loathing, people pleasing, and dependent behaviors (hoping ANYONE else would acknowledge me).  But I think I am finally seeing the light and the transformation.  How is it that I could do this for everyone else who stepped in front of my camera, but I couldn’t do it for myself?  

So, I will ask again…What if the most powerful, the most courageous thing you ever did was to allow yourself to be seen?  What would that mean to you?  What would that mean for you?  What would that mean to the people you are closest to?   What would that mean to the strangers who are yet to know you, but are now empowered to be seen simply because you bravely made that choice to share and to be open?  What would that mean to your kid, your niece, your nephew, or any small child who looks up to you…”I learned THAT from my mom!”

Isn’t it time you celebrated the journey you are on, because believe me, you are worth it NOW!  You don’t need to earn it.  You were born WORTHY of it. Every. Single. Day. And when you are ready to be seen, let me know. Creating a safe space for my clients to show up is what I do! See you in the studio soon!