44 Frames

What if getting older isn't about all the time that has passed, but more about how much life we've been given?

This week, I turned 44, and it got me thinking about the people I love, those I have lost, the things I’ve learned, and all the ways we celebrate being alive. As human beings, I think we are pretty darn good at celebrating the big milestones- those big calendar items like weddings, new babies, graduations, birthdays, and the new job. And as a photographer, this is typically when I get a call.

But the reality is, most of life happens somewhere in between those milestones. So, how do we celebrate the things that don't necessarily come with a cake and ceremony? How do we honor all the little unexpected joys that make up a life well lived?

-Starting over.

-Making time to hang out with that one friend you haven't seen in years, but you can both pick up like no time ever passed.

-A second chance.

-Saying yes to something new.

-Watching your child turn into an incredible adult. (That definitely didn't happen in our house last week without shedding a few tears!)

-Finding your confidence again.

-Having the courage to walk away.

-A completely ordinary Tuesday that, for some reason, you wish you could go back to over and over again.

Maybe in the end, these are the moments that matter most.

The ones that slip quietly into our days.

The little things that, when you look back, turn out to have been the big things all along.

And that's something worth celebrating every.single.day.

So I want to spend the next year searching out the joy, the resilience, the connection, the ordinary moments that turned out to be extraordinary, and I want to meet the people who remind us that life, in all of its messy and beautiful forms, is worth celebrating. Here. Now. Especially now.

Enter project 44 FRAMES.

A black-and-white gallery exhibition of 44 stories from people of all ages and all lived experiences.

44 reasons to celebrate being alive.

Maybe you have a story.

Maybe someone you love does.

And I’m going looking for them. Proof that a life is made beautiful by the moments we choose to notice. Not perfect or polished, but real.

I have a feeling those moments are going to remind me (and maybe all of us) of something we already know deep down…

There is still so much good to see here.

So what are you celebrating? And are you in?

+A huge shout-out and sincere thank you to the incredible @jonnycreative who took this portrait of me and let me fall apart in his studio because of the beautiful safe space he held for me as a witness to my story. I am eternally grateful you are a part of my journey!

Springfield Chamber Small Business Award Nominees

This year I was given the most beautiful opportunity to cheer on nominees for The Greater Springfield Chamber of Commerce’s Small Business Awards by taking their headshots. When I said yes, I had no idea just how much this project would change my life.

Everything I do in life is slooooow with deep intention and purposeful connection drives almost every decision I make in my business. So, when the Chamber asked if I would schedule 2-3 Headshot Days of back-to-back quick shots, I paused, gave it some thought and immediately asked for an in-person meeting because I had a counter proposal.

I’ve never been a ‘drive-thru photographer’. I think I tried mini sessions once and thank goodness it flopped before it even started, because I just can’t operate that way. Photography is vulnerable for most of the world’s population to begin with. I’m not going to send you a few pregen emails, tell you what my van looks like, what I look like, and then ask you to line up to take the same photos that everyone else just took in the same spot. Where is the service in that interaction? You aren’t the person who showed up before you. Your photography project goals aren’t the same. And in this case, you don’t serve the exact same people as the person before you. A divorce lawyers Headshots SHOULD NOT look like the small-town bakers!

My counter proposal- I will contact each nominee, set-up a Vision Consultation to onboard each one and prep for the session. I will give each of them the opportunity to stay in the studio for up to 90 minutes while we create a full business branding session designed with their needs in mind. Within a week, I will meet with each nominee to review their images, pick their official Headshot, edit their image and do a write-up on social media to introduce their amazing efforts as a small business owner to the community. And thankfully they said yes.

When I told photographers in my mentoring group what I had done, they thought I was crazy, and if we are being honest, it may have crossed my mind too. This was my biggest assignment to date. I average 35-40 sessions a year, and I was looking at 45 in two months time. But this has a very happy ending, because we did it, and the response was incredible. I heard things like,

“The last time I got my headshots taken, I was in a line in a convention hall. I was posed the exact same way as the guy before me, and I am a woman.”

“The photographer who took our headshots was so grouchy, and I felt like just another person to get through.”

“I didn’t even get to see my photo before the director put it up on the website, and I have had to live with that picture I hate for years!”

If there is one thing I know for sure so far in this life- every human just wants to be seen, heard, and feel understood. And I can do that. I LOVE doing that for others. It is what will continue to set me apart in this industry. Slow intention set deeply in connection.

These business owners showed up with beautiful ideas that told stories of what being a small business owner looked like on the personal side. We had a huge mascot head, someone was juggling a shotput ball, hand painted messages to clients, I witnessed beautiful violin skills with a bow in hand, heard stories of their travels around the world, cried to tales of their business tied to family legacies, and the list goes on and on. What I found was meaningful camaraderie, innovation, daring heroics, inspiration, and a whole lot of incredible new friendships. I had no idea just how much beautiful has built the business scene in our town. My life is forever changed as the bearer of their stories. What legends!

It has been a month since we wrapped this project, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Cheers to each and every one of you, and thank you for entrusting me with something so incredibly special! I love looking at all of you like this in a gallery all together. What a bunch of powerhouses and each and everyone of you showed up so very authentically. There is so much to be proud of here!

What I learned from the Titanic

The Titanic Exhibit verified everything I already knew.

While I was on vacation, we went to a Titanic Exhibit. It wasn’t the heart wrenching letters or the hand-sewn baby shoes, but the room filled with black and white photography that got me in the end. Tears just started flowing. It was the room I spent the most time in by far.

The room was filled with truly incredible black and white imagery from the days leading up to her first and last voyages. Without Father Browne’s film camera, there would have been no photos of the Titanic. The negatives of this series of images weren’t found until after I was born in the 80’s, and they barely survived the conditions of storage as it was. To see them hanging in a room together, transporting you to another time and place, was breathtaking.

Father Francis Browne was a teacher, and he was asked not to lecture on his experience on the Titanic afterwards. Although he had been censored, Browne still documented with beautiful storytelling in the quiet and in his own way.

He made albums of his work and wrote anecdotal narratives to document his experience. The gallery walls were filled with dates, times, places, and the people, some of which experienced being photographed for the very last time.

Browne was an incredible documentary photographer, who walked quietly on the decks taking pictures of the everyday-fleeting moments most would have considered mundane, but over a century later, I KNEW these people because of Browne. Mailmen bringing on bags of correspondence, a robust gymnasium with the best equipment, people trying on life vests, a Sunday stroll on deck- all captured stunningly from a fly on the wall witnessing beautiful excitement and novelty.

And all I could think was...

Do you know how many times I’ve heard excuses from incredible people, doing incredible things who just want to hide from my camera?

“Maybe when I lose the weight. What am I going to do with pictures of myself anyways? There’s nothing special about my story.”

Oh my love, you’ve LIVED.

You were born worthy of being seen, heard, and understood.

Every.single.moment is worth documenting, because you never know when it will be your last

And I know with certainty that when everything else is gone, what we'll long for won't be what's stored in the cloud. It will be the photographs we can hold in our hands as the quiet proof that we were here, that we loved, and that our lives mattered.

This one is for the Moms

This one is for the Moms. I see you.

It is almost my turn. All the feelings are already starting to sneak in and we are not yet quite finished with Junior year at my house, but I put out the 2027 Senior Team Model Call and realized that ‘2027’ is the year I have had to write on everything for my oldest throughout his schooling to signify the end of a chapter. I don’t know how it is knocking at our doorstep, but it is and it stings the worst right before I have to take a deep breath and allow the tears of pride, gratitude and joy to flow freely. I bawled my eyes out the first time I dropped him off at daycare, and I feel as if that need to hold on so tight may follow me through the next year. You will find me perpetually with a Kleenex box, I fear. I’ve watched so many before me do the same as they step to the sidelines of my camera and allow their senior to be truly seen one last time. It has always torn at my heart.

The way so many of you call my studio for your boys and tell me photographing this part of their journey might not be on the top of your son’s list, but he will do it for you because it is important to you. You say the same sentiments you did when they were 5 and you were yelling at them across the field not to get grass stains on those knees before the family photos are done- “If we could just get one really good one…” and then I promise you that it will be so much more than that. There will be so many images that capture all of the love and care you poured into that child of yours who is now bravely stepping into a world of their own, and you will wonder just where the years have gone.

During the shoot, I watch you fold and hang your senior’s clothing carefully and remind them to switch shoes or accessories. I watch you brush your hand through their hair the way you have always done. You laugh together over some small joke and then you step back silently in awe of who they are. No senior mom ever intervenes or directs the way they used to correct behavior during a long-past family session. I watch the quiet acceptance as you allow them to be fully who they have become in front of the camera. It is just another small sign of loosening the strings and letting them fly. 

I love watching you giggle as they do a ridiculous leprechaun, heel clicking jig in the air. The way you hold your heart when you see them close their eyes and drink in the last of the day’s light as the golden sun pours down on their face and the breeze blows through their hair. I love watching you bury your face in their shoulder with a deep hug as they now tower over you in height when they ask you to join them for the end of their session. Even though you didn’t come dressed to be photographed, you step into frame because this too matters.

How beautifully heart-wrenching and so gloriously affirming it is to see so many incredible relationships walk through my doors. It is always an honor. You did well Mom! All of the good that you are and have done is reflected right back from my camera lens in that high school senior standing tall in front of me, showing up for themselves, and honoring a life well-lived at home. Thank you for all you do and for the way you still show up until the very end of this beautiful chapter. I see you.

Oh, middle school pictures!

I remember sitting at a cafe with a few of my artistic friends, hashing out a new photography project almost ten years ago now.  That night changed the entire trajectory of Studio Bliss.  No longer was I just someone with a camera. I KNEW what had conspired would change my life, my business, and the people I served.  THIS was what I was meant for. My purpose behind using my camera and my gifts was fully formed in my mind, and it was the first time I really thought about being a photographer with intentional purpose and a whole lotta heart behind it.

I was working in two different schools, teaching art at the time.  One was in a residential neighborhood with fantastic parent involvement, tricycles and little helmets everywhere, moms waving and striking up conversations at pick-up and offering support in my classroom.  The other was in a neighborhood where cops were stationed, I had a bullet hole through the glass of my classroom door, and a washing machine to help wash uniforms while I taught so that the kids had something clean to wear each day.  And it occurred to me that it doesn’t matter where you come from, what environment you live in, or how much support you have- middle school is freaking hard on everyone.  You are trying to figure out how you fit into this world, what your friendships look like, you are worried about how you show up, and you are pushing away from the family you have even though you desperately need them, and no one, NO ONE takes out their middle school picture to proudly display. 

It bothered me.  I know I can take a beautiful image of anyone, at any age.  There was this trend in my business of families showing up for photos every single year until their oldest hit those tween years, and then they just dropped right off the face of the earth…and during a time that, regardless of push back, their child desperately wanted and deserved to be seen as a part of that family.  The more I worked through this idea of celebrating life in the messiest stages, the more I realized that storytelling had to be a part of the whole.  I could take a beautiful contemporary portrait, but what I really wanted to do was to let everything that made them who they are shine right through.  If your grandmother was your rock, bring her.  If science beakers were your happy place, let’s show that.  If listening to music or playing with legos or reading was what felt like belonging, then let’s creatively find a way to add those small pieces of your journey to the images.  It sparked something in me I just couldn’t let go.

So, on a very cold Super Bowl Sunday, the owner of Cafe Moxo gave me his store front downtown to shoot a promotional video in.  I will forever be grateful.  The artist Immanual Ahiable (incredibly wise and talented beyond his years) brought his video gear and a group of very sweet girls, who called themselves the “Little Ladies Who Lunch” showed up for a session that will forever have my heart. They started out together and life had spaced them out in different schools in Springfield, but they remained the best of friends and continued to impact each other in profound ways.  What made them tick was the relationship with each other.  And Storytelling Sessions were born.

The best part- while we were working through the photography process, their family wrote letters about what it meant to have them in their family.  Those letters were recorded and a vocal recording played those beautiful, heart-wrenching affirmations while the kids got to see their images for the first time.  And here’s what I didn’t expect…while I thought whole-heartedly that the kids would be deeply affected, it was actually the parents who openly cried and then it hit me.  Sometimes we get so wrapped up in life, that we forget to say the things we should and frequently enough. 

***You are going to want to grab a box of kleenex and a pint of ice cream and then watch our little promo video to the end for the full impact.*** Promo video link

Each kiddo received a beautifully printed wall portrait of themselves to take home with the handwritten letters attached to the back so that they could proudly take middle school imagery home and display it on the wall as a sign of belonging and beautiful worthiness during a challenging stage in life.  Each time they needed to be reminded of the love and light that surrounds them, they could take that photo off of the wall and read those letters.

It’s been a bit over 9 years since the release of that project, and it still drives what I do in my business.  Connection, storytelling, love, and championing the world as we step confidently along our journey.  This project has evolved because I realized during the pandemic that the whole world needed care like this- didn’t matter what age you were, what your background was- humans deserve to be seen, heard, and tell their stories.  This all came full circle for me when my grandmother passed away last year, and I felt the regret of everything I hadn’t taken the time to say, of all of the stories that were shared after her passing as we tried to move through healing.  And so this project expanded into something I now call LEGENDS.  Legends, because to the people who love you most, your stories are legendary.  This project is quite literally for everyone, and if you are ready to show up for yourself or if you have someone in your life you want to shower with love, give me a call.  There could be no greater gift as an artist than to show up as the mirror for all of the good you are in this world!  I would be truly honored.

Quitters Day

Today is Quitter’s Day. The day when most people abandon the goals they set for the new year. If you have been around a hot second, then you know I LOVE a growth mindset, and I may just be a top tier self-reflector. Setting goals, backwards planning, dropping and giving 20 to find my way there is something I take very seriously, but something shifted this year, and I want to share it with you because it is changing my life. Let’s break it down.

Webster’s Dictionary defines the word goal as: the end toward which effort is directed. The end. I found that to be my problem. Part of living with ADHD and an unhealthy need to see myself fail (you read that correctly, and I am working on it), meant that so many of my jobs and goals made it to 90% completion and then piled up and overwhelmed me because I wasn’t actually completing anything. But the struggle started long before the 90%, because I didn’t know how to set a goal. Oh, I thought I did, but deep down, it never felt quite right. I had read all the books about 10x mindset and 1% better every day but setting the goal was the problem. I had never had that thing I wanted so badly. I didn’t really know how to get there effectively because it was an unlived pipe dream and that’s why I could never quite get behind manifestation either. My brain would hop in and call BS before the full sentence of what I desired could be uttered. And then when those things didn’t show up on my timeline or despite all best efforts, disappointment followed hard. Why aren’t I disciplined enough? Who are you to want something so big anyways? What am I doing wrong? You’ve been there too haven’t you? I didn’t know how to be the container, because my mind and body weren’t prepared to hold the dream I had quite yet.

So this year, on December 29th, I was on a call with my mentor who asked us where we were headed next year and then proceeded to tell us about STANDARDS. 

“Standards eat goals for breakfast y’all!”

Sometimes it is so much easier to know exactly what we don’t want in this life. We’ve lived it. We’ve been there, and we know what no longer gets to stay. She challenged us to set a new floor for what is acceptable.

“You say you want these things, but what are you doing to hold yourself accountable, because a standard must be met every day.”

Every. Day. Crap! I had to take a minute to evaluate what I could feasibly do every day and more importantly, what I felt was a vital part of my journey right here and now. It was easier than I thought to get to the heart. I pared it down to 4 areas quickly. The essentials, because let’s be honest, you can literally only do so much in a day. I sat and imagined what this version of me could say at the end of this year. What does she do? How does she move? What does she look like, think like, act like? I wrote it out and taped it to the wall by my bedroom door, because every morning I will be reminded of my purpose. I made a list of ‘Out With The Old’ and hung it there too. That snake is shedding its skin and walking into a new era of becoming, which means there is so much of me I need to let go. (Old habits and stories, thank you for keeping me safe, but there is something else I need to do now.) And then I made lists of what I am accountable for if I say that my pillars of value lie in Myself, My Relationships, My Health, and My Business. Those are now on the back of my bedroom door too. 

Then, I made blank calendar pages with a key to hold myself accountable. I have the app called Finch. I LOVE it. You get a little bird that helps you track your habits. My bird’s name is Cheesecake. My friends and family have the app too, so we cheer each other on every day, visit each other, and travel together…like I LOVE this thing. I can set daily objectives to cross off, which makes me feel so good. When I do, I get gems to purchase new clothes and furniture for the house Cheesecake lives in. I now have 31 goals that I have committed to daily and are tied to those four pillars. Some are ridiculously easy and others are more challenging, but my goal is to knock them off everyday. When I do, I get to highlight the box on my wall calendar. Barring total sickness or derailing, I want that highlighter to absolutely dominate this year- standards!

I also downloaded the app called Structure. My accountability partner suggested it, and I am also obsessed with this one. You put in your activities for the day, and it will remind you when it is time to start and when you should be finished with each color-coded activity. It helps keep me on track when I am at home doing business and my ADHD wants to kick in badly. Checking things off that list makes me feel so good too. It frees up my mental space, because I found it draining to be thinking, “Man, you have got to just take the time to sit down and write that thank you card!” and then the next day, and then the guilt of not remembering to do it, and then the next day…Doing the things you say you are going to do and holding yourself accountable is how we get just that little 1% better all the time.

So what does 1% look like for me now that I have stuck with my standards for 12 days? Getting back to lifting weights with my teen, who is so proud his mom is in the gym that he cheers me on and tells me stories about his day I’m not sure I would have heard without our time together growing stronger. It means talking through the joys and trials of the day with my husband and making plans for our future while grounding and getting fresh air on a nightly walk together instead of going our separate ways to make art on our own. It means putting dates on the calendar to have girls’ time with my besties that live so close, but we never seem to be able to make it happen. It means remembering to take vitamins that helped me avoid the nasty bug that hit our house hard. It means connecting with people genuinely every day and intentionally and prayerfully acknowledging all the good in my life each night. It means SELF-TRUST and CONFIDENCE because every time I do what I say I am going to do, that muscle is flexed and there is new proof built. It has been a beautiful reframe for me this year based on my values.

How about you? I’d love to know what your mission is. What standards are you setting in your life and how are you investing in yourself this year?

Be Unstoppable!

“WHAT do YOU stand for?”

My mentor stared straight through my whole existence on the Zoom group call and waited patiently for any brave soul to step forward.  The silence washed over us all with profound impact.  

“Where are you truly convicted?”  Because sometimes it is so much easier to name all of the things, people, and circumstances we don’t want to allow in our lives, but it can often be harder to say, “I want THIS!” with certainty and conviction (especially if it is something for yourself), because that means unshakeable belief.  And the problem here is often our mindset.  We get in our own way. ALL.THE.TIME!

Another mentor of mine used to say, “YOU are the poison and YOU are the antidote.”  So I guess Taylor Swift had it right all along-I’m the problem, it’s me!  Here comes…

-I can’t because…insert litany here…

-What if it doesn’t work…insert thoughts that aren’t even rooted in reality here…

-Who in their right mind…insert limiting beliefs or criticism and judgement here…

-How in the world…pushing away possibility here…

As someone who has felt disempowered most of my life, my mentor reminded me that day that I AM FAR MORE THAN THE SUM OF MY OWN LIMITATIONS. (Let that one sink in for a hot minute!)

Can I get real here for a minute about a life changing decision I made yet again this week?  In the past month, I was offered two jobs.  Jobs that I was highly qualified for.  One as an Art Educator and one as a Photographer for the state.  Multiple people reached out, asking me to apply.  It felt SO good that others valued me enough to want me in those rooms.  (Hello ego, I see you!)  I’ve spent the last year grieving the loss of parts of my teacher identity in particular.  Was this an opportunity to reopen that door and heal?  I felt like I had to give it a try and at least go in for the interview. And it was terrifying when I turned down both of the offers.  I walked away from teaching for the second time in my life.  I chose photography instead and not for the state.  I chose MYSELF and I reinvested in all that I have worked so hard to create with Studio Bliss Photography.  I chose the dream.  And I chose to trust myself, when neither one of the job opportunities felt quite right for me here and now.

I could feel all the thoughts scratching at my consciousness- “Who does that?  You are a good teacher.  You can do that job tomorrow like it is second nature.  Who walks away from stability and a consistent paycheck in an economy like this.  You asked for opportunity- are you insane?”  Those thoughts were pushing at me, and I made a choice in those moments.  It was time to shut down my lizard brain- you know, the one that has some PTSD.  The brain that wants to keep me safe.  The one that rejects change and uncertainty because it’s scary.  The one that asks, “Who do you think you are?” 

AUDACIOUS- that’s who I think I am becoming, and I will play new messages of conviction over and over and over again, because I know that it’s all in the mind work.  Your thoughts, feelings, and experiences shape your beliefs and your beliefs shape your actions.  

In the same way that my connection and creativity shape beautiful experiences of transformations for my clients, I firmly intend to use what I do best for myself now too.  I’ve seen time and time again how this business has changed lives.  The experience I offer gives my clients confidence to go out into the world and ask for the raise with their chin held high, say OUTLOUD they have never felt more beautiful in their lives, show up differently for their kids- the stories go on and on.  I make a difference here and a day with that lens in my hand is never a day wasted, because I am in full service to the people who entrust me with their journey.  The photographs are an incredible bi-product, but the way you will walk away forever changed from a photo session with me is completely invaluable.  How could I possibly have chosen anything different for myself in those moments?  What a gift.  I GET to go to work everyday and change lives, because of how I choose to show up in this world.  That is conviction, my friends.  It is purpose, and it is alignment.  THAT, that is powerful.  So let’s get out there and create the life you deserve.  We can make this world better together for ourselves and for everyone around us. 

Untethered

Untethered: to free from restraint

Anyone who has followed me long enough knows that I have become quite an open book in this 4th decade of my life.  No gatekeeping, no more lying (to myself mostly), and no more people-pleasing.  I didn’t just stumble upon authenticity or haphazardly walk into it, I ran.  

Nothing about owning who I am was done in trepidation.  I woke with a start, and even though the path seemed awkward and unfamiliar, I took to the dirt, bounding my way through the brambles with red in my cheeks and hair flying behind me, laced with twigs and tangles.  And my God, did it free me.

I used to walk into rooms of people and could feel myself shrink, my shoulders rise, my breathing shallow.  I’d find a wall, a corner, or a buffet table and pray to be left alone.  Then, I would watch and judge everyone in the room, feeling worse and worse about myself, because low and behold, my fear was that they were all judging me.  I was anything but authentic.  Every fiber of me was craving connection, but my mindset was holding me back, ”keeping me safe”, and keeping me tethered to lies I had been telling myself for decades. Then, someone asked if I could take a group picture, and my whole demeanor changed the minute that camera hit my hand.  At that moment, I didn’t actively choose to shift my energy.  Photographer is my safe space, and it chose me.

There are a great many places, people, and objects in this world that allow my soul to breathe deeply.  You’ve felt it too, right?!?  This undeniable connection, a longing for time and space to hold still so that you can soak it in, a complete rightness- one that overwhelms your being with the purest of emotion.  These things feel like coming home to myself in a way that makes me wonder if those who came before me, somewhere way far back, maybe even before I was born, had these same connections.

For me it’s water, sitting under a pine tree and listening to the wind whispering through the branches, holding a camera in my hand, light of all kinds, sharing a home cooked meal in someone’s sacred space, flowers, crystals, naps, hugging, hearing a story, snuggling a child or pet, sitting in a pew at church, hilly and cloud-covered landscapes stretching as far as the eye can see, hot rock massages, and long weekends with nothing planned.  The feelings that come with these things are all encompassing, so I began to wonder how I could start shifting more of my life into this category of pure and powerful joy.

What I wanted when I stepped into an overwhelming room of people was confidence.  I wanted to walk into a room where people knew who I was, where they were drawn to my energy and light.  I wanted to be the person who greeted everyone, laughed, hugged, and made connections everywhere I went.  And so in my head, I thought, “If you want to be an Artist, make a piece of Art.”  If I want to be a bright light in other people’s lives, then strike the damn match, girl!  My mom used to call me ‘Sparkles’ and somewhere along the line, that light dimmed, but my God, it has to still be in there somewhere.

Becoming untethered was easier than I ever thought it would be.  I didn’t have a roadmap, just the one my heart had drawn, and it was easier to take that first step than I expected.  I started with one person, because that was safest for me.  And then, with consistency, it grew into something so beautiful.  I don’t have to make excuses and cancel plans anymore.  I don’t sit in my car, pep-talking myself into walking in.  I fidget less and embrace people more (including myself now).  

Lordy, why do we put so many restraints on ourselves that hold us back from living fully and with unbridled joy?  Did you know that a fear of loneliness has now ranked number one of all of the human fears, above even death?  And I chose to change that for myself.  Unbridled and running towards a life where all is right with my soul, one little change at a time.  Connection, my friends, is everything, and it’s only a choice away.

Creepin' it Witchy!

This session was born out of a dream. No, really!

I’m one of those lucky people who doesn’t remember a thing during the night. I hit the pillow, and I am gone. When my husband asks my seven year old if he had any good dreams, sometimes he responds with, “Nope, blank screen!” That is my always response, unless I am sick and then I have horrible nightmares. This wasn’t one of those.

My dear friend, Jan, called me to catch up and asked about my Halloween plans for this year. It wasn’t until that exact moment that an image popped into my head as clear as day and out of nowhere. I squealed and told her I had a seconds-long dream about her the night before. It was a beautiful portrait of her in all black with wrinkled paper and black spiderwebs blowing on the black backdrop. It was stationary, like a stunning fine art portrait of her as a witch with only the wind adding a small shift in movement. And in a flash it was gone, but the breathtaking image was seared on my brain.

I begged her on the phone to do something crazy and fun with me in the studio. In seconds, she was in her closet and already throwing things in a laundry basket as she excitedly yelled at me from across town and over the phone. She was gathering boots, textured garments, and an old black birdcage.

We met at the studio with only this one vision in my head, but I threw together that set like a driven, mad woman. I knew exactly what I wanted. God, creation is such a beautiful thing!

She was perfect. After transforming into a witch, she started moving and embodying her new identity without me even asking. The intense half hour went from dead seriously pinpointing a vision to absolute laughter and back again. We were both on auto-pilot and still completely free.

When it was over, we sat on the couches and talked about what had just happened, both of us in tears. Coming into the studio, our hearts had both been burdened from our seperate lives, but in that quick studio session, we had found what we each needed.

Jan told me she hadn’t been feeling so good about herself, and the way I gave her a space to roleplay and become something else for a bit was everything she needed. She just kept saying how much fun it had been to let go of the hard and simply enjoy childlike play and expression for awhile. When she hugged me, she told me I am right where I am meant to be, and if just a half hour could bring so much good out of a soul in my presence, that here is where I am meant to be. She gave me all the reassurance I needed in that one moment to keep creating a life for myself that allows me to be in service to others always. Creating fixes everything! Happy Halloween!

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

The day we got back from marrying off two of my three younger brothers, I was surprised with a beautiful session in my studio.  Initially, Holly from Holly Rose Skincare was coming in to help me build a new portfolio of business headshots for a project I have coming up, but she messaged me on the road and threw an incredible opportunity my way for Breast Cancer Awareness Month that I just couldn’t say no to.  I feel incredibly honored and blessed to have been such a small part of this program initiative happening right here in Springfield, IL.

Meet Megan.  Holly brought her long-time friend into the studio and asked if they could get a few photos together for a one-of- a-kind collaboration coming soon to the Simmons Cancer Institute at SIU Medicine.  Megan was diagnosed with Triple Negative Invasive Ductal Carcinoma in Stage 2 shortly after having her third baby.  She found a lump in her breast and followed her gut instincts.  She was breastfeeding at the time and truly thought it may have just been a clogged duct, but she still made the call.  It just wasn’t going away and thank God she did!

The oncology nurse who called to give her the message you’re never prepared to hear was her sister.  Her mom is a breast cancer survivor, so this family knows how to fight and protect.  I’m still in awe of the strength she had sharing this difficult part of her journey with me!  Earlier this month, Megan was able to finish out her 16 rounds of chemo, lovingly referred to as ‘the red devil’.  She still has radiation and then immunotherapy to battle through, but she is one tough cookie, and I have no doubt in my mind that she will persevere with beautiful resolve.

She has incredible support from her family who has already been through it all, her husband and three children, and the many friends she has made along the way teaching yoga for Ahh Yoga. Megan is the Director of Admission for SHG, and we bonded over all the beautiful ways that private schools in this town support their staff on a daily basis.  Thank God for places you can call home when you need love, compassion, and support the most.  And of course, she couldn’t say enough about the staff at Springfield Clinic Oncology.  Megan’s best piece of advice to anyone preparing for this journey- “Listen to your instincts and advocate for yourself- it could save your life.”

I learned so much from this storytelling photo session, and compassion flowed so deeply for the over 300,000 cases of breast cancer that will be diagnosed in the United States this year alone.  I am grateful for businesses in our community who are stepping up to stand shoulder to shoulder in partnership with the hospitals to create safe spaces for patients to feel cared for.  Enter Holly Rose Skincare and Face the Fight!  

Holly recently underwent oncology skincare certification, because she too has friends affected by breast cancer and knew that she had a gift to give back to her community in a meaningful way with her business.  Holly is partnering with the Simmons Cancer Institute at SIU to create on-site workshops for those affected where she will teach about skincare, brows, lashes, scalp, etc…  In addition, she will be providing scholarship opportunities for those affected. How amazing is that?!?

How can you show support this month? Wear pink on Fridays, and on Wednesday, October 29th, Holly has created an event called ‘Fall For The Cure’ at the Railyard in Springfield, IL to raise awareness and funds for additional programming. (Check out the event on social for more details!) So, mark your calendars and come on out to the Railyard to support Breast Cancer Awareness initiatives here in our hometown.  How lucky am I to know and work with some of the best people this area has to offer!  Cheers to having each other’s back, because no one fights alone!

Be Seen.

What if the most powerful thing you ever did was allowing yourself to be seen?

Let’s talk about it, because this one question is changing my life profoundly.  As a kid who grew up in an abusive household, being seen or heard was about the worst thing you could do to yourself.  I spent my life hiding.  In grade school, I would jam papers in my desk and only toss them out on the way to gym or lunch, when I absolutely had to leave my seat.  I kept sharpened pencils at the ready in hoards just in case one broke.  On and on it went in an astounding myriad of ways on a daily basis through my four decades on this earth until I was straight called out.  

You can imagine that I about died when my mentor told me sternly to STOP HIDING in my business.  “What?  Hide?  Me?  I don’t know what you are talking about!”  I was called out by fellow photographers for not being the face of my business.  When everyone else named their business proudly with some form of their own birth given name, I picked a name that resonated with how I feel about photography and how I wanted my future clients to feel when they experienced my love around the art. 

Had I ever been photographed for my About Me page (cringe)?  Nope.  Was I showing up in Live videos on social media?  Nope.  Was I hiding in corners eating all the finger foods and looking desperate at every networking event? Yes, like real bad. I had to talk myself down to even get out of my car and go in. Did anyone even know my business existed or who the heck ran it?  Nope and listen, if you are in business, that is a huge problem!

It took a lot of therapy, gratitude and self-love to work through the idea that I deserve to be seen.  It took another photographer creating a safe space for me to show up in while he lovingly guided me through the process. I had to push through some old scripts and say good-bye to perpetuating behaviors I no longer wanted as part of my story. Hello martyrdom, self-loathing, people pleasing, and dependent behaviors (hoping ANYONE else would acknowledge me).  But I think I am finally seeing the light and the transformation.  How is it that I could do this for everyone else who stepped in front of my camera, but I couldn’t do it for myself?  

So, I will ask again…What if the most powerful, the most courageous thing you ever did was to allow yourself to be seen?  What would that mean to you?  What would that mean for you?  What would that mean to the people you are closest to?   What would that mean to the strangers who are yet to know you, but are now empowered to be seen simply because you bravely made that choice to share and to be open?  What would that mean to your kid, your niece, your nephew, or any small child who looks up to you…”I learned THAT from my mom!”

Isn’t it time you celebrated the journey you are on, because believe me, you are worth it NOW!  You don’t need to earn it.  You were born WORTHY of it. Every. Single. Day. And when you are ready to be seen, let me know. Creating a safe space for my clients to show up is what I do! See you in the studio soon!

Print Your Photographs!

I am a print-based photographer, and I don’t think I will ever be able to go back.  It was a choice I felt compelled to make, because I am an artist at heart, and everyone deserves to have Fine Art prints that celebrate the people they love hanging proudly on their walls.  Booking a session with me offers you an array of beautiful experiences, and as your curator, that means giving exceptional service to the very end.

What is a print-based photographer?  It means I believe in the power of printing Fine Art photography for your walls on superior archival papers that you cannot get anywhere else.  Fine Art prints look and feel luxurious.  Listen, I was an art teacher for twenty years and opening packs of richly textured paper was like Christmas morning for the students and I.  The paper screamed to hold their beautiful creations.  The students KNEW the good stuff was precious, so it became revered and highly cared for.  The very same is true when my clients pick up my sample works of art during their Reveal and Ordering Session.  Most people make a soft, little cooing noise and then let out a sigh or great exclamation because the colors are incredibly rich.  The paper is thicker than cardstock and you can feel the difference.  It is nothing like what you have had created for you before.

What about digital images?  I still offer them!  In the education world, when every other classroom switched to chromebooks, I held out with my shelves of art supplies and paper filing cabinets.  I was made fun of often at staff meetings when I brought my art paper and a sharpie to take notes.  Now that doesn’t mean I can’t get with the times.  I do know the value my clients have in being able to share their images digitally through social media.  I do know how critically important it is for many to own the images of those they love, so with every Fine Art print my clients purchase, they still get the corresponding image in a digital format as well.

But why is printing so important?  I believe in the transformative powers of seeing yourself celebrated on your walls in a place of belonging, AND that my friends, is true at any age.  It’s a form of storytelling, and storytelling is what humankind has done since the beginning of time.  It is how we relate to each.  It is how we pass down our legacy and our heritage.  When someone passes away in my family, the first thing we do is pull out albums and tell stories.  Oftentimes, I learn things I never knew about the person I loved so much.  With so many people using a phone as their only camera, and very few people actually printing those images, it worries me what that looks like in the future.  Beyond that, I can’t tell you how many times I have had a client come back frantically to ask if I still happen to have their images archived for printing after an untimely loss.  In those tough moments, NOTHING else in the whole world means more than having those printed images.  

I believe in printing with my whole heart.  It is a soapbox I will stand on until the end of my time.  Picking out companies who created products I fell in love with took time, and I was more than willing to go through the ringer to find them.  Every time an order is placed on my front steps, I get excited to peel back the packaging as fast as possible, and if the excitement over my creation is that palpable for me, imagine how you will feel when it is someone you love looking back at you through that image!  I will always want to give the best I have to the people I serve, and for me, that means celebrating you through exceptional printed products.

Your Professional Headshot Speaks Volumes

Let's talk headshots, because visual imagery sells and tells your story long before a potential customer or client speaks directly to you. Is it really THAT important to have a professional headshot? You bet your bottom dollar!

I describe it like this...if I am looking to book a vacation rental or purchase a home, and the first displayed photo (my first impression) is dark, out of focus, has poor composition, looks like all the others on repeat, not in alignment with the property's best qualities, includes clutter, or shows a sunset/the neighborhood instead of the actual home, I'm not clicking. I'm not going any further.

Why? You just lost my trust. It doesn't show the best attributes, which makes me think you are hiding something. It makes me wonder if these photos are truly the best this place has to offer. It feels like even the seller devalues the home. What if the upkeep on the home is just as neglected as the photo quality? It might seem heavy-handed, but truly, your headshot tells the same kinds of stories.

Everything from composition, the way the image is cropped, the clothing you choose, the angle of your shoulders (as well as a million other micro movements in the face and body), and how you hold your body tells a story in less than a second to the viewer. And you should never underestimate the power of a first impression, because humans have been using this mechanism to create a snap judgement since the beginning of time. Our brains are hot wired to take in all the information and assess qualities such as likeability, friendliness, safety, competence, etc… Let’s face it, this is how we survived each other. It’s engrained and it’s automatic.

My business has shifted beautifully into a space where personal branding, headshots, and product photography is a very large piece of the creative work I was receiving this summer. More and more colleges, internship opportunities, and post-collegiate careers (not to mention online platforms you show up on with a professional portfolio) are looking for visual imagery that showcases, in a snapshot, who you are and what qualities you possess. And depending on what field you are in, the style headshot you choose can vary widely. This is why it is important to hire a photographer who asks all the right questions and can guide you towards an image that represents you and your venture the best.

Has it been a while since you updated your headshot or gotten one at all? Does it make you a bit nervous (because there really is a lot more to it than most people realize)? It shouldn't. I've got you! When we design your session during our pre-consultation, we talk about the characteristics you want to portray and how your headshots will be used. A theater major is looking for a very different set of headshots than, let's say, an elected official would be. Subtle differences like lighting, coloring, posing, and composition make all the difference in the world. As someone who has studied Art since I was in elementary school, I know the subtle nuances like the back of my hand. A picture is worth a thousand words...it's about eliciting the right kind of connection and response from the viewer, and I can make this happen for you- stress free.

…Not to mention what an incredible image of yourself will do for your own confidence and self-esteem. Photography is just another form of self-care, and it’s the perfect gift of showing up for yourself!

Baseball Moms

You cheered your heart out from your squated position in the dirt behind the fence.

Screamed your face off like each one of those 21 games this week were the playoffs.

Maybe you had to think hard about whether your tank top had been washed before you threw it back on, but you showed up.

You showed up not because it was your job to, but because it matters- because this is your heart and soul.  Being a baseball mom is both exhausting and the most beautiful privilege, so yes, you ALL deserve a place to celebrate and be cheered on.

I was absolutely obsessed with this session.  It was supposed to be a Mother’s Day shoot, but a little round of Covid and a broken arm threw us off our game.  It had been awhile since our last milestone session together with the boys, and as soon as we settled on the baseball theme, I knew we had to get mom in on the game.

 Let me pause here to gently nudge you in the right direction or give you permission in case you need to hear it…YOU DESERVE TO EXIST IN PHOTOGRAPHS TOO! I mean, you have earned it!  Baseball Moms be out there in the stands surviving the heat by day and scrubbing dirt out of those baseball pants at night.  You are killing it!  We see you, and we love you! (P.S. you are strong, beautiful and worthy of showing up!)

And, really big cheers to the mom who still celebrates milestone sessions for their kids even as they prepare to enter their tween years!  I always see a huge drop off in my yearly clients as their kids creep towards those middle school years, and I have to be honest here- 

THIS IS WHEN THEY NEED US THE MOST! 

This is when they need to be celebrated. 

This is when they need to be reminded that they belong and have a beautiful place on the walls of their home, their safe place.

This is when we should lean into showing them just how amazing they are and just how loved they are.

Heck yes, the road gets bumpy in a whole new way.  Yes, they start reaching out for a bit for independence.  But they also start losing their individuality in pursuit of fitting in with everyone around them.  They start questioning friendships, their role in the family, who they really are, but that is when we stop, take a deep breath, and remember they still desperately want to be seen, heard, understood, and cheered on...and that will never go away!  

Not only should tweens and teens have incredible photos that make them feel and look amazing, but they should also have images that show their interests and personality. Photo sessions with your growing kids doesn't have to be stressful.  Let them grab what they love.  Don't stress about the bruises and scratches and messy hair.  Let's celebrate who they are now.  You will never regret pouring into them in this way, because it always goes by way too fast, and it will give them all the confidence they need to see themselves as the incredible human being you raised them to be!  Way to be amazing mom!

It isn't just luck!

If you scream into the trees that you are ready, prepare for an answer.

I was in a slump like never before. I’ve been out there battling demons, and I was grasping for a foothold to get back to the light. I was falling apart regularly, trying to keep that cheery outside appearance going, but torturing myself because the careful laid plan I had for my new business life just wasn’t quite gelling in its first year. I journal daily, seek therapy, practice visualization, and I am trying to heal the parts of me that are still holding me back from my dreams. I’ve started carrying crystals and taking action daily, but by God, something just hasn’t fit quite right in the last six months. I’d been quietly begging and pleading with God, allowing myself to be open to opportunity and connection when they arise. I had finally opened up to my kids about all I was feeling, bawling and stammering the whole through as I frantically swiped tears on the way to a family dinner out. I let it rain, pulled up my big girl pants and ate a kid’s meal at Culvers while Magic Matt made a balloon mermaid for my daughter tableside on a random Tuesday evening. We went to the movies, and that is when the email came through.

Two weeks prior, I had applied for a grant through the Springfield Art Association. It was open to artists who were pursuing creative endeavors in their field. The grant was in honor of two art educators, one who worked in my last school district and had meant quite a bit to me. It felt perfect. There was a workshop with Jonny Edward in Denver the week after grant recipients would be notified that I desperately wanted to attend. I had met Jonny at a photography conference in Arizona and was enamored with his presence, his creativity, and his openness to making meaningful art.

I wrote the grant by lamplight in the middle of the night, inspired by all I had read about his workshops. The descriptions of finding your artistic purpose, exploring and allowing yourself to open up to new ways of working, and connecting with other creatives was everything I needed. It sounded like the safety net that was the college of arts in my late teens and early twenties. I desperately needed to be surrounded by creatives again. I NEEDED to find my spark. I hit send and somehow, I just knew this opportunity was mine. I even started looking up flights.

I had read a book last year by Denise Duffield-Thomas and it started with a story about how she and her husband had applied to be travel writers for Honeymooners, where she would essentially live in luxury hotels around the world with all the best amenities and write about it for newly engaged readers. Tens of thousands of people applied and if I remember right, before she had even won, she had already leased her apartment, taken off of work, sold most of what she had owned, told people she was going to win this, scheduled the travel on her calendar, etc… I was shocked at the audacity and the confidence. Leave your job and your home for a competition add you saw for your dream job on the back of a very popular magazine with no guarantees whatsoever? Trying to control what I can’t and obssessively planning is what got me in this dump of a mindspace, so the idea of believing wholeheartedly and visualizing the life you want to fruition were new to me. Isn’t getting to the finish line about working your everliving butt off and earning it? (Ooooof, even writing that and I can see just how much my mindset has grown in the last year!)

With a pair of 3-D glasses on, I bawled my eyes out during the opening credits of Lilo and Stitch. This CONGRATULATIONS email was going to change my life. I knew that with absolute certainty and conviction. There was no way this all came together so fast, other than for the simple fact that it was meant to be. I had, in fact, done exactly what this book had recommended without even thinking twice less than a year after being so perplexed by what Denise Duffield-Thomas had advised. I had told God I was ready for the next step. I listened to the universe’s nudges and acted on them. I visualized myself winning the scholarship, wrote the conference in my calendar, looked up flights, coordinated with my brother on housing and travel, and journaled. And as it turns out, I must be fairly good at grant writing. In all of my art career, I have only ever lost one, so maybe, just maybe, this is another nudge from the universe to lean into my strengths. I am grateful for the beautiful opportunities and travel that these grants have brought into my life, and I cannot wait to share what I learned with you in the next post!

Until then, peace, love and big dreams!

Women Supporting Women

Buckle up! 80’s Glamour Shots and Diet Culture.  Go ahead and grab a seat right down in front of my soapbox, and let’s talk about it, shall we?

You can find a similar image to this one above all over current pageant pages and Pinterest.  I wonder if the first person to ever take an image of a pageant contestant wrapped in her sash this way drew any immediate connections to stereotypes and the weight loss garbage that surrounded my young, impressionable self in the 80’s through the 90’s? 

It was the first thing I thought of when she asked for this shot.  I remember seeing apples, models, a scale, a pudgy tummy, and a meal replacement drink all wrapped in the same signature measuring tape, squeezing its life force right out all over my magazines and tv advertisements growing up.  Companies promising their “Fat Girls’ Diet” (not even joking) could help you lose 10 pounds a week and you could go back to school and “be in with the slim”.

I was in eighth grade the first time I tried Slim Fast.  Growing up, many of the women (only ever women) around me would say things like, “You gonna put more butter on that?  Haven’t you had enough?  Maybe if you ate more things like broccoli, you would look healthier.  She just doesn’t stop eating!”  Decades of lies, shame, and someone else’s sad stories meant to make you feel small, passed down through casual remarks made loud enough to get their point across and dig their claws in deep.  A war I didn’t ask to be a part of, but inherited nonetheless. And judging by the way women of all ages respond when we first start talking about how they want to show up in their photographs (if they want to show up), it seems we still have a long way to go towards a body positive mindset.  

This beautiful girl I photographed, Allie, is already there. She came to me to celebrate all that she is now, for who she is now, and for what she looks like now.  Someone told her that ‘people like her would never win a pageant’, but she did.  And you know what, that measuring tape with her accolades and name boldly embroidered in silk still doesn’t encompass or measure all of her worth either.  A long time ago, there was a diet ad that claimed, “I believe in Crystal Light ‘cause I believe in me!”  A new drink that will help you look and feel your best.  What a message!  Sweatbands and spandex be damned!  Instead, let’s get curious about what we see and hear.  I’ve never found a drink in my life that made me feel like I was someone worth believing in.  That would be liquid courage at its finest wouldn’t it? 

Woman to woman here- WE CAN DO BETTER- better for ourselves, better for each other, and better for the young girls who are watching, reading, and hearing everything we say about ourselves and about others.  We are the changemakers and it is time!  Show up for yourself and take heart, because you were already born WORTHY!

Connection

Sometimes being a soloprenuer can be so very lonely. Man, it’s in the name even. I don’t think I was adequately prepared to leave a career of being the person that 500 students relied on for everything to this new life where most of my time is spent behind the scenes and on my own. It took a toll this winter, and I swear January and February were here for 9,000 days long.

I know how to get myself out of a funk. I am the master at creating Joy Lists and taking action when I need to work all the feelings and thoughts out in my personal life, but I totally forgot to do that for my business self this year. Instead, I hid, and we all know loneliness is not the way to go. I do what I always do when things feel hard- “I got this. Let me suffer quietly. I am a fighter. I don’t need to do this in front of people. I’ll be back when it’s ok.”- and that my friends is not going to be an acceptable solution for me anymore.

A fellow photographer reached out when he hadn’t heard from me or seen me at some of the networking meetings we attend together. He got vulnerable. I got vulnerable, and I realized how much I need to give myself connection and community in addition to offering that so frequently for others. I had to set my ego, shame, guilt, and self-doubt down to get honest. I have never felt so seen. The comradery was everything. Being a business owner is hard man. Doing it all on your own is hard, but I found out yesterday that I never have to do it alone again.

He saw me through my struggle and in such a beautiful way. I bawled my eyes out when he told me he would have had no idea from the outside that I was hurting. He saw me still posting my work, said I looked busy, fulfilled, growing. And then he complimented that work. He told me that he knows it’s mine immediately, because it looks like the person I just photographed has gone through a therapy session with me, got an infusion of clarity and joy, and are completely connected, seen and ready to be photographed…it was one of the most meaningful things that has ever been said about my work, I think. I’ve had people ask me if I’m in some sort of therapy field or if I have taken classes and the answer is no, but maybe it’s time to act on some part of that too. Maybe learning more about how to connect with people will only bring more light and beauty into my studio.

I can’t thank Zach enough for being my person. For helping validate my feelings, for encouraging me, and for helping me to realize I am not alone. Growth isn’t linear my friends. I feel like I have been challenged. Challenged to see if I still want the life I have worked so hard to build, and I am ok with that challenge. It was messy, but it also brought me clarity. It reminded me of how far I have come. It has taught me to trust myself deeper than I ever have. It has taught me patience, and I feel more connected God, the Earth, myself, those who have come before me, and my family than I ever have before. What a beautiful thing to be on the other side for now. Happy Spring y’all. Lean into love, charity and kindness of those around you. Connect deeply and get vulnerable. There is so much good in this world, and you deserve it all!

A Personal Story for World Health Day

This is a long and deeply personal post all about a profound experience I recently had. In honor of World Health Day and Child Abuse Prevention Month, I plan to share it with you in an effort to break generational habits of secrets and hidden truths buried beneath a blanket of self-shame. I will never again subscribe to ‘what happens in the house, stays in this house’. Instead, I invite you in. Pull up a chair, get comfortable, and thank you for being here as always.

Through some business mentoring conversations and opportunities I have had recently, it has become very clear that I am in constant struggle internally and it is exhausting. There are parts of me that have found themselves emblazoned in a nasty game of tug-o-war on the battlefields in my mind. Without cooperation of these parts, I am struggling to move forward in so many meaningful ways. As one of my mentors would say, “You are the poison, and you are the antidote.” I am my own worst enemy. During my most recent session, I began Parts Integration Therapy. I will say it again and again- this job has saved my life in so many unexpected ways.

In case you are not familiar, Parts Integration Therapy is used when parts of your subconscious are at odds with each other. In this case, I have a subconscious part of me from my childhood trauma that is contentious with my adult subconscious. It leaves me often feeling anxious, frustrated, and exhausted from overthinking. It is not uncommon for the human brain to protect you, but I need for these two to collaborate so that I can move forward. So let me set the scene…

My mentor had me talk to, listen and name the two parts. The first part that I acknowledged was named, Scared. She was small, represented by a blank vinyl figure, rocking and whimpering in a ball in a corner of an empty dark room. She just wants to hide- wants nothing more than to be left alone. She feels pressured and misery sneaks in often. She tries so hard, but something always happens to remind her she will never be good enough. It is a hard existence to just get through every day trying to minimize the inevitable cracks that let through stress and misfortune. She just wants to be safe. She hunkers behind a shield for security with the goal of avoiding as much harm as possible, but the shrapnel always finds a way through. God, she just wants to take up space, but it is lonely here. The dark makes it easier to beat herself up for all that she isn’t. I’m reaching to understand why she does what she does and for what higher purpose, but it’s hard to go to her. I don’t want to be back in this space. It feels desperate and the hope and light just seep away so fast in that corner where her back is to the wall. It is oppressive. She doesn’t want to be here either, but she can’t find a way out. She wants nothing more than calm. She wants security. God, she wants to break these bonds!

The other part is named Audacity. She is also a blank figure, but she didn’t make noise, talk or move. She is bathed in light, taking up space with her broad shoulder, legs slightly apart and arms crossed over her chest. She’s keeping her distance from Scared. She towers over Scared, but not in an authoritative or confrontational way. She isn’t condescending, but she does hold herself differently. She’s expanded her space to allow light and joy in. The tough is just a small part of her, because she focuses on the good and follows gratitude always. She is focused on living life fully. She dreams really big and it doesn’t mean she isn’t scared, but she knows she is creating freedom for herself. Part of what frees her is pouring her heart and soul and gifts out in service to others so that they can be lifted up. She needs to give, needs to connect, needs to feel like she belongs because that is purpose for her. When she has community, she is elated- filled with excitement and is content with the life she has created.

My mentor asked me what Scared has that Audacity would love to have. Scared is resilient- she knows how to cope when life feels harsh. Scared has built her own safety and it has served her when she needed it most. She knows how to comfort herself.

What resources does Audacity have that Scared would love to have? Audacity has confidence and that allows her to keep an open mind towards possibility. She is forward thinking and has created spaciousness in her life to allow for dreaming. She is vibrant. She glows like beacon calling those towards her.

My mentor asked me to bring Scared and Audacity together now. They didn’t hesitate. My two hands came to my heart because there is so much love there. That cavernous distance that had spread between them vanished in an instant. Scared, who had been too low to come out from hiding, jumped up and ran to Audacity. Audacity opened her arms wide to embrace Scared and got down on one knee within seconds to hold Scared tighter. She came down to her level. The dark slinked back like a fog hit hard by the breaking of daylight.

We talked about how powerful integration of these two parts is. Child to adult. Another broken human being took away what should have been a young child’s rights, security, and self-worth. There may have been many in my life who loved and supported me, but it only took one person to beat back the best parts of me and leave me clinging to scraps of my tattered self. When my abuser was no longer in my life, I took over because I wasn't quite sure how to live without constant negative feedback. I’ve never cried harder in my 42 years of life than when I said out loud, “I was always good.” Those two parts I have, both have so much worthiness, so much good, and now that they are one, we will be unstoppable, despite all odds. You see, I have become the person that little girl needed so badly and she has given me everything to forge this beautiful path forward for myself. They are not so very different in many ways. They both need contentment and room to breathe. They both need to be comfortable and safe. They both need security, love and belonging. And they both deserve to exist. Together will always be better. So, cheers to new beginnings, bonding, healing, joy, love and happy endings!

2026 Senior Team applications are LIVE!

It has been 5 years since I ran a Senior Team for Studio Bliss, and we are bringing it back baby! This round is going to be better than ever with individual senior session experiences, 5 opportunities for group sessions, team bonding, and a chance for one team member to win a $500 scholarship. So, what are you waiting for?!?

Let’s break this down! Ten lucky 2026 Seniors will each receive their own 2 hour individualized senior session. You and I will meet ahead of your session for a design consultation where we discuss venue options, clothing styles, your hope and dreams and all the details in between. By combining your vision with my creative spirit, we will design a session that leaves your legacy and commemorates this incredible time in your life. And because we have done all the planning together, you will feel completely confident walking into your photo shoot.

In addition to the perfect senior session, you will have the opportunity to join 5 group sessions. Once our team of ten 2026 seniors are chosen for the year, we put all of our themed session ideas to a vote. The sky is the limit when it comes to creativity here. We have done camping themed sessions, snow day, roller skating, day at the fair, sessions with a parent, bring your besties, on the farm, formal wear, water, music love, favorite food- you name it and we vote on it. These themed group sessions are optional to attend and will be spaced out throughout the year.

Now let’s talk team bonding! This is the perfect way to connect with new people from other school districts, cheer each other on, and create joy wherever we go. All ten of our senior team members and their parents will be in a group chat for the year. If someone has something big in their life- something they are really proud of or want support around, we show up. Opening night of your musical? Big playoff game? Gallery art opening? Big speech? We will share it all and come support each other in all of our best senior moments where we can. And there is nothing I love more than celebrating and supporting my community, so I will be planning a few social gatherings (most likely involving food), an ice cream run, cookie baking, as well as offering a way for us all to volunteer in the community throughout the year. Together, we will make a difference in the lives of others.

Oh, we aren’t done yet! I want to invest deeply this year. Invest in creating something special for the people I work with. Invest in empowering others to step into their authentic self. Invest in my community. Invest in the future. So, next Spring, I will be accepting scholarship applications from the ten seniors who are chosen to be a part of the 2026 Studio Bliss Senior Team. One lucky recipient will receive a $500 scholarship from Studio Bliss Photography to use towards further education. The world is waiting for you and all the genius you were born to bring to the table. Go out there and get it!

Let’s make this the best year yet! Applications are now open, but we need your help spreading the word! We would love to see an amazing turnout from all local area schools. Do you know a 2026 graduating senior? Help us connect with the community and let’s get those application in. The application deadline is Friday, April 11th, 2026. We can’t wait to meet you!

What happened to the Tweens?

It has always baffled me. Where do all of my tween-aged clients go? Is it because sports and activities pick-up and families are just trying to breathe through the crazy schedules we keep? Is it because your teenagers start bargaining with their life not to show up in pictures, like EVER. Ever. Again! Or does it run deeper?

I mean let’s get real…when was the last time you pulled out your middle school picture to proudly present to the group? And why is that? Is the answer that everyone in middle school was awkward in their Lifetouch school pics? (Let me get you in on the secret…no one, unless you are a paid model for a living, is ever photogenic ever. That’s my job to help you feel comfortable and confident when you get to the studio.)

I see it time and time again. Families who religiously sign-up for yearly sessions start to drop off when the kids hit about 8 years old. I usually don’t hear from them again until someone is about to be a senior in high school. I get it! Kids three and four in our house have a baby book, but it is still in the original packaging. We hit survival mode too at some point.

But humor me and let me tell you a quick story for a moment. I was in my basement recently going through two tubs that encapsulated the entire first half of my existence. I found handwritten letters in sparkly gel ink pens, folded carefully origami-style for privacy. I found artwork people had sent by snail mail with encouraging written affirmations all around it. And I found wallets we used to swap to hang around our dresser mirrors in our bedrooms. It’s clear to me that during my teenage years, I was clinging desperately to my friendships and the community I had built for myself, that we wanted to cheer each other on, and that we wanted to be seen despite our awkwardness. Thanks to the internet and texting, SO much has changed for today’s youth (gawd, I am old!), but there are still so many things that are universally true for today’s teens.

What I know after twenty years of hanging out with tween-aged kids in the Art Room.

1) They may seem to be pulling away and hiding when and wherever they can, and they may not show it, but they just desperately want someone to invest in them. They still have the human need to be seen, heard, and understood- maybe now more than ever. They seem to be pulling away and looking for independence, but they still need us, our attention, and our love. They want to be acknowledged not just for what they look like, but for the things in their lives that they have poured their heart and soul into.

2) It is hard as heck to be authentic. They are just now figuring out that they are their own person. The years 0-7 were critical in building neural pathways by subconsciously soaking up everything around us. It forms all that we are- the stories we tell ourselves, the habits we pick up, the way we respond and react- it’s all wrapped up in the environment we grow up in. Being authentic means sometimes stepping out on your own and even cavemen knew that was dangerous, so most end up conforming. When you fight off authenticity, that’s when things slow down and get tough at any age! Confidence, true confidence is freaking hard!

3) It only takes one person to invest in them, one person to see the good and beauty they put out into the world, and one person to help inspire them. Soooo, this led me to some more thoughts a bit over a decade ago…

Why don’t we have beautiful images of teenagers? I KNOW I can take them, because every teen who has ever stepped into my studio says something to the effect of, “It’s the first time I have REALLY felt good about myself, mom!” Why are we leaving it up to the school photos- ones that turn my daughter into an orange oompa loompa with glowing lips? And during a time when they desperately need to feel good about themselves, need to have a place on the wall in a frame so that they know they belong? We can give that to them, and it is powerful! Why? Because I truly believe that when someone invests in your looking great and feeling great, you go out and do incredible things in this world.

Bring them back in. Invest in their confidence, because confidence will take you far in this world. Invest in a beautiful form of self-care for them. Invest in helping them to build a community that supports and cheers them on. Couldn’t we all use a bit more of that these days!