Creepin' it Witchy!

This session was born out of a dream. No, really!

I’m one of those lucky people who doesn’t remember a thing during the night. I hit the pillow, and I am gone. When my husband asks my seven year old if he had any good dreams, sometimes he responds with, “Nope, blank screen!” That is my always response, unless I am sick and then I have horrible nightmares. This wasn’t one of those.

My dear friend, Jan, called me to catch up and asked about my Halloween plans for this year. It wasn’t until that exact moment that an image popped into my head as clear as day and out of nowhere. I squealed and told her I had a seconds-long dream about her the night before. It was a beautiful portrait of her in all black with wrinkled paper and black spiderwebs blowing on the black backdrop. It was stationary, like a stunning fine art portrait of her as a witch with only the wind adding a small shift in movement. And in a flash it was gone, but the breathtaking image was seared on my brain.

I begged her on the phone to do something crazy and fun with me in the studio. In seconds, she was in her closet and already throwing things in a laundry basket as she excitedly yelled at me from across town and over the phone. She was gathering boots, textured garments, and an old black birdcage.

We met at the studio with only this one vision in my head, but I threw together that set like a driven, mad woman. I knew exactly what I wanted. God, creation is such a beautiful thing!

She was perfect. After transforming into a witch, she started moving and embodying her new identity without me even asking. The intense half hour went from dead seriously pinpointing a vision to absolute laughter and back again. We were both on auto-pilot and still completely free.

When it was over, we sat on the couches and talked about what had just happened, both of us in tears. Coming into the studio, our hearts had both been burdened from our seperate lives, but in that quick studio session, we had found what we each needed.

Jan told me she hadn’t been feeling so good about herself, and the way I gave her a space to roleplay and become something else for a bit was everything she needed. She just kept saying how much fun it had been to let go of the hard and simply enjoy childlike play and expression for awhile. When she hugged me, she told me I am right where I am meant to be, and if just a half hour could bring so much good out of a soul in my presence, that here is where I am meant to be. She gave me all the reassurance I needed in that one moment to keep creating a life for myself that allows me to be in service to others always. Creating fixes everything! Happy Halloween!

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

The day we got back from marrying off two of my three younger brothers, I was surprised with a beautiful session in my studio.  Initially, Holly from Holly Rose Skincare was coming in to help me build a new portfolio of business headshots for a project I have coming up, but she messaged me on the road and threw an incredible opportunity my way for Breast Cancer Awareness Month that I just couldn’t say no to.  I feel incredibly honored and blessed to have been such a small part of this program initiative happening right here in Springfield, IL.

Meet Megan.  Holly brought her long-time friend into the studio and asked if they could get a few photos together for a one-of- a-kind collaboration coming soon to the Simmons Cancer Institute at SIU Medicine.  Megan was diagnosed with Triple Negative Invasive Ductal Carcinoma in Stage 2 shortly after having her third baby.  She found a lump in her breast and followed her gut instincts.  She was breastfeeding at the time and truly thought it may have just been a clogged duct, but she still made the call.  It just wasn’t going away and thank God she did!

The oncology nurse who called to give her the message you’re never prepared to hear was her sister.  Her mom is a breast cancer survivor, so this family knows how to fight and protect.  I’m still in awe of the strength she had sharing this difficult part of her journey with me!  Earlier this month, Megan was able to finish out her 16 rounds of chemo, lovingly referred to as ‘the red devil’.  She still has radiation and then immunotherapy to battle through, but she is one tough cookie, and I have no doubt in my mind that she will persevere with beautiful resolve.

She has incredible support from her family who has already been through it all, her husband and three children, and the many friends she has made along the way teaching yoga for Ahh Yoga. Megan is the Director of Admission for SHG, and we bonded over all the beautiful ways that private schools in this town support their staff on a daily basis.  Thank God for places you can call home when you need love, compassion, and support the most.  And of course, she couldn’t say enough about the staff at Springfield Clinic Oncology.  Megan’s best piece of advice to anyone preparing for this journey- “Listen to your instincts and advocate for yourself- it could save your life.”

I learned so much from this storytelling photo session, and compassion flowed so deeply for the over 300,000 cases of breast cancer that will be diagnosed in the United States this year alone.  I am grateful for businesses in our community who are stepping up to stand shoulder to shoulder in partnership with the hospitals to create safe spaces for patients to feel cared for.  Enter Holly Rose Skincare and Face the Fight!  

Holly recently underwent oncology skincare certification, because she too has friends affected by breast cancer and knew that she had a gift to give back to her community in a meaningful way with her business.  Holly is partnering with the Simmons Cancer Institute at SIU to create on-site workshops for those affected where she will teach about skincare, brows, lashes, scalp, etc…  In addition, she will be providing scholarship opportunities for those affected. How amazing is that?!?

How can you show support this month? Wear pink on Fridays, and on Wednesday, October 29th, Holly has created an event called ‘Fall For The Cure’ at the Railyard in Springfield, IL to raise awareness and funds for additional programming. (Check out the event on social for more details!) So, mark your calendars and come on out to the Railyard to support Breast Cancer Awareness initiatives here in our hometown.  How lucky am I to know and work with some of the best people this area has to offer!  Cheers to having each other’s back, because no one fights alone!

Be Seen.

What if the most powerful thing you ever did was allowing yourself to be seen?

Let’s talk about it, because this one question is changing my life profoundly.  As a kid who grew up in an abusive household, being seen or heard was about the worst thing you could do to yourself.  I spent my life hiding.  In grade school, I would jam papers in my desk and only toss them out on the way to gym or lunch, when I absolutely had to leave my seat.  I kept sharpened pencils at the ready in hoards just in case one broke.  On and on it went in an astounding myriad of ways on a daily basis through my four decades on this earth until I was straight called out.  

You can imagine that I about died when my mentor told me sternly to STOP HIDING in my business.  “What?  Hide?  Me?  I don’t know what you are talking about!”  I was called out by fellow photographers for not being the face of my business.  When everyone else named their business proudly with some form of their own birth given name, I picked a name that resonated with how I feel about photography and how I wanted my future clients to feel when they experienced my love around the art. 

Had I ever been photographed for my About Me page (cringe)?  Nope.  Was I showing up in Live videos on social media?  Nope.  Was I hiding in corners eating all the finger foods and looking desperate at every networking event? Yes, like real bad. I had to talk myself down to even get out of my car and go in. Did anyone even know my business existed or who the heck ran it?  Nope and listen, if you are in business, that is a huge problem!

It took a lot of therapy, gratitude and self-love to work through the idea that I deserve to be seen.  It took another photographer creating a safe space for me to show up in while he lovingly guided me through the process. I had to push through some old scripts and say good-bye to perpetuating behaviors I no longer wanted as part of my story. Hello martyrdom, self-loathing, people pleasing, and dependent behaviors (hoping ANYONE else would acknowledge me).  But I think I am finally seeing the light and the transformation.  How is it that I could do this for everyone else who stepped in front of my camera, but I couldn’t do it for myself?  

So, I will ask again…What if the most powerful, the most courageous thing you ever did was to allow yourself to be seen?  What would that mean to you?  What would that mean for you?  What would that mean to the people you are closest to?   What would that mean to the strangers who are yet to know you, but are now empowered to be seen simply because you bravely made that choice to share and to be open?  What would that mean to your kid, your niece, your nephew, or any small child who looks up to you…”I learned THAT from my mom!”

Isn’t it time you celebrated the journey you are on, because believe me, you are worth it NOW!  You don’t need to earn it.  You were born WORTHY of it. Every. Single. Day. And when you are ready to be seen, let me know. Creating a safe space for my clients to show up is what I do! See you in the studio soon!