“WHAT do YOU stand for?”
My mentor stared straight through my whole existence on the Zoom group call and waited patiently for any brave soul to step forward. The silence washed over us all with profound impact.
“Where are you truly convicted?” Because sometimes it is so much easier to name all of the things, people, and circumstances we don’t want to allow in our lives, but it can often be harder to say, “I want THIS!” with certainty and conviction (especially if it is something for yourself), because that means unshakeable belief. And the problem here is often our mindset. We get in our own way. ALL.THE.TIME!
Another mentor of mine used to say, “YOU are the poison and YOU are the antidote.” So I guess Taylor Swift had it right all along-I’m the problem, it’s me! Here comes…
-I can’t because…insert litany here…
-What if it doesn’t work…insert thoughts that aren’t even rooted in reality here…
-Who in their right mind…insert limiting beliefs or criticism and judgement here…
-How in the world…pushing away possibility here…
As someone who has felt disempowered most of my life, my mentor reminded me that day that I AM FAR MORE THAN THE SUM OF MY OWN LIMITATIONS. (Let that one sink in for a hot minute!)
Can I get real here for a minute about a life changing decision I made yet again this week? In the past month, I was offered two jobs. Jobs that I was highly qualified for. One as an Art Educator and one as a Photographer for the state. Multiple people reached out, asking me to apply. It felt SO good that others valued me enough to want me in those rooms. (Hello ego, I see you!) I’ve spent the last year grieving the loss of parts of my teacher identity in particular. Was this an opportunity to reopen that door and heal? I felt like I had to give it a try and at least go in for the interview. And it was terrifying when I turned down both of the offers. I walked away from teaching for the second time in my life. I chose photography instead and not for the state. I chose MYSELF and I reinvested in all that I have worked so hard to create with Studio Bliss Photography. I chose the dream. And I chose to trust myself, when neither one of the job opportunities felt quite right for me here and now.
I could feel all the thoughts scratching at my consciousness- “Who does that? You are a good teacher. You can do that job tomorrow like it is second nature. Who walks away from stability and a consistent paycheck in an economy like this. You asked for opportunity- are you insane?” Those thoughts were pushing at me, and I made a choice in those moments. It was time to shut down my lizard brain- you know, the one that has some PTSD. The brain that wants to keep me safe. The one that rejects change and uncertainty because it’s scary. The one that asks, “Who do you think you are?”
AUDACIOUS- that’s who I think I am becoming, and I will play new messages of conviction over and over and over again, because I know that it’s all in the mind work. Your thoughts, feelings, and experiences shape your beliefs and your beliefs shape your actions.
In the same way that my connection and creativity shape beautiful experiences of transformations for my clients, I firmly intend to use what I do best for myself now too. I’ve seen time and time again how this business has changed lives. The experience I offer gives my clients confidence to go out into the world and ask for the raise with their chin held high, say OUTLOUD they have never felt more beautiful in their lives, show up differently for their kids- the stories go on and on. I make a difference here and a day with that lens in my hand is never a day wasted, because I am in full service to the people who entrust me with their journey. The photographs are an incredible bi-product, but the way you will walk away forever changed from a photo session with me is completely invaluable. How could I possibly have chosen anything different for myself in those moments? What a gift. I GET to go to work everyday and change lives, because of how I choose to show up in this world. That is conviction, my friends. It is purpose, and it is alignment. THAT, that is powerful. So let’s get out there and create the life you deserve. We can make this world better together for ourselves and for everyone around us.